Spoonful of Stacey - Self-Worth ( Part VI )

When I was a young child, she was Mighty Mouse escaping the controlled threat of my father--you'll never leave because of money. My wealthy grandparents shunned the innocent bystanders, the children, after their divorce. We were removed from our family home and subjected to a life of manipulation/avoidance/control by him. The brunt of his pent-up anger toward his mother and denial of the true relationship he had with his father fell on my mother and me. It was as if he rejected all emotions and avoided feelings altogether. I remember the torture of spending weekends with him when I was a little girl. Now that I am a mother, I can imagine the tremendous emotions involved in having to give your children, ages 4 and under, to a man who regards them as a bad investment. In regression, one has access to all memories stored in the cellular memory since the beginning of time. It is extremely harmful to believe that children will not remember or will not be affected later in life in any way. These are excuses told to self in attempts to CONvince one’s actions weren’t as wrong. This pride in the unhealed ego is strong. I have triggered it numerous times as it was my duty as an ego eradicator. It is vital to be vulnerable -- I see things as they are because I have been willing to take a 360-degree view of myself.

And that doesn't mean it's pleasant. Energy shifts rapidly when you feel it and you can process and heal it. By taking personal ownership and responsibility, you will bring balance to any and all unaligned actions that by default affect everyone internally and externally. Many came to me to assist in healing their imbalances, understanding their feelings, and better understanding the root of their chemistry. My work is an alchemy of the body, emotions, mind, and spirit. People are swayed by fear and the false versions they continue to feed. Running away from the parts of one's self which are created in fear and false ideas which construct unhealthful patterns and loops in one's life. People are accustomed to their fake problems, they are used to their fake diagnoses, and they want the quick-fix miracle pill instead of putting in the grind and day-to-day work required to heal all their past and begin anew. As a result, they fake it till they make it and disregard the information as mere superficiality, never willing to actually take action to change.

CONTINUED

Spoonful of Stacey - Self-Worth Part V

My extensive study of the experience has allowed all emotions based on fear and love to rise to the surface. Even though I look small and have a small frame, I am capable of doing serious damage. This actually scared me, as I was constantly challenged by my two older brothers, who regardless of their behaviour in public and social settings, acted completely differently at home. It was also very evident to us that we adopted a completely different set of values and morals from our highly sensitive mother. Norms and beliefs held by our peers and that of society in all spheres were mmm proved wrong by those of our mother's pudding. Would this remove the trauma of our generation, the media outlets, and the societal programming we have grown up with? Unfortunately, nope, we are all suffering from the unconscious understanding of human nature, and several have taken deep plunges into very dense realities due to a lack of self-care and the ability to shake up the rigid roots and egoic past pursuits that are so commonly manifested unconsciously.

We don't all come out of a movie with the same experience, do we? As a result of our parents' divorces, we were devalued and treated like shit by grandparents, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. on both sides of the family. Imagine if John Lennon had never picked up a musical instrument how different his life would have been, and this same idea ( air ) is what drove my mother so far from her true self. The eighth extension to her mother's line and treated as an adopted child by her siblings, she was used and abused like a rag doll in very violent and traumatizing ways, allowing her to lose any perception of love, loyalty, and relationships. Every time mycellves fell and climbed, they had to keep swimming and standing back up. I learned this from my mother.

CONTINUED