Practicing yoga for me reflects the status of my present relationship with self. During cosmic shifts and weaving through my own cycles, the upbringing of suppressed, stale frequencies can feel as though I'm in a rainstorm with no umbrella or rubber boots for protection against the heavy downpours and gusting winds. Swirling and spiraling through layers, surfacing the rawness of previous hidden unwanted emotions, dense stories and definitions that are limiting my growth and preventing me from ascending to my next level in this Earth game. At times I'll resort to my comforts as a way to cope; eating a lot of food(sweets, salties, yum yums), smoking some herb, and escaping into a binge of meaningless television. I refer to this as responding to life's challenges from our egoic side, comfort zones, and lower vibrations.
Confession, I put my asana practice on the back burner, along with prioritizing self care and resorted back to my old patterns and responses during this cosmic shift crazily compelling us all. Some, the sensy pots are consciously aware of this energetic awakening and opportunity, others are feeling it but not sure what the fuck is going on. Similar to when I was unaware of how my hyper sensitive vessel absorbed energies. I used food, drugs, alcohol, relationships, tv as an unconscious way of lowering my crazy high vibration so I couldn't FEEL as much. I wasn't mindful that this was what I was doing but now understanding energy and how it works in and around our ecosystems, this is exactly what I was attempting to do. Block everyone, everything out. It can be overwhelming being a sponge 24/7 absorbing thoughts, feelings, pains of others, especially when energies are amped up and it's time for me to shift to an even higher sensitivity. Now being aware and awakened to my empathic, sensy self that doesn't automatically make it easier. It takes willpower for one to not to resort back to his or her old patterns, but also a great deal of compassion for self when we visit the old patterns of how we've responded to challenges and shifts in our reality. My practice shows me exactly how my body is feeling, she talks to me through tightness, tension, loss of range of motion, and rigidness. Projecting a map of where lower vibes have been shoved, suppressed, and hidden. Usually in my hips, as this location stores vibrations from our relationship with self, others and our ability to go with the flow, to create and harmonize. As well as in my shoulder girdle, lacking connection to source, not speaking/living in my truth, and giving my power away by responding to life in a way that's less beneficially for my three part being; mind, body and soul. With this practice being a projection of ones relationship with self and me wanting to hide, turtle away, escape from all the going throughs you might understand why I put asana to the side. Escaping from the truth, my truth. I could hear and feel my heart & soul's urgent call...practice yoga, get outside, drink more water, clear, release, be grateful, but at times my humanness and all around stubbornness will be driving this vessel instead of the divine intelligence the soul, intuition, and heart provide. With everyone collectively going through their shit this girl feeeeels it, my own muck amplified and lower vibrations of others, it can be intense!
I've flowed through this cycle with awareness for a few years now watching myself weave in and out. In the past during the lower waves I would cast harsh judgments, guilt, shame for ignoring my higher self. But through the experiences and years I've learned how counterproductive this can be and attracts more of that vibration into my space. To just allow and accept what's present is needed. I look at it as opportunity to visit my darkness, to dance with it, sleep with it, smoke with it, and when I've gained all the information I need, remember why I don't visit those comforts and feel ready to wake back up again, I do.
It need not be big or dramatic, I don't throw myself an enlightenment party, in all honesty I just laugh at myself and my silly ways. One must embrace their darkness in order to see their own light. This game of life is one hell of an adventure and it can be fucking hard at times. By gaining compassion and acceptance over self it will organically begin to spill over into your relationships with others. Overtime if we all practiced such unconditional love and acceptance, imagine how much more harmony their would be amongst one another.
This morning I'm filled with gratitude for this amazing medicine and art that is yoga. After a magical week celebrating my last 27 years surfing around the sun, a yummy weekend reconnecting with self at Prairie Love Yoga Festival, and a balancing out of energies, I feel shifted into a content state of consciousness. I am thankful for our on and off again relationship, yoga. You always take me back with open arms and hold space for me to flow through my current challenges and show me exactly what's present in my reality.
May all beings everywhere be happy and free,
Namastacey (~*~)