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Spoonful Of Self-Awareness Part XVII

October 13, 2022

It was difficult for Johny and I to maintain a healthy relationship due to our mothers' and fathers' need for us to need them in unhealthy ways. Although my mother was slightly more supportive and understanding, she had a deep, unhealed subconscious that manifested very skewed energy towards us, resulting in betrayal and severe backstabbing. At times, her unwillingness to address her traumas, along with her level of avoidance and stubbornness, combined into a large block of boulders in the middle of the highway. During our relationship, Johny's mother acted as if she supported us but in reality, there were multiple attempts to sow seeds of doubt along with numerous incidents that revealed the contrary, resulting in severe backstabbing, lies and betrayals. She then attempted to manipulate him to restore her to her position in his life. It was revealed that there was a very skewed and unhealthy relationship between the mother and son as she treated him more like a brother or partner than she did as her child or son. We live in a time when the "need to be needed" is a very prevalent belief system that affects all of humanity. Air and earth are both representatives of our needs, as are our ideas and actions. The binary code 1,0 is the basis for our needs, which are carried out by our cosmic computers. The 1 represents the earth, the matter, and the 0 represents the air, the spirit.

If individuals do not produce their own energy, they will have to rely on a host for energy. Consequently, the other entity would have to give up its power and become a source of energy. As a result of this statement, we are able to observe that the importance placed on the future of mankind has been drastically diminished, and we need to re-evaluate the importance of providing our cells with the highest possible information and techniques to think and create for themselves. In order to accomplish this, FEELINGS are necessary! This is what I have repeatedly discussed, and what so many people are running from rather than managing the energies present. In reality, the idea that numbing out, disconnecting, lying, severing, or self-convincing our feelings, our water, and our emotions is easier is a phenomenon which creates a harsher, lack-lustre journey, and is extremely demeaning and dishonouring to your own abilities and self-esteem. Many cells have been infected with false emotions and the real emotions have been removed from the majority of them. We have become so skewed and incorrect in the labelling of our emotions. In the course of life, one can become extremely desensitized to what they are feeling. This is because they have been numbed, suppressed, and severed as a result of not being consciously aware of what they are feeling. It is possible for parts of us to become enmeshed in traumas, to be given away, to be stolen, to become lost and damaged. 

I'm getting a lot clearer about my and Johnny's union and soul family as I continue to learn about the events of the last four years. We've understood the gravity of what happened during our trip. This is specifically the traumas that happened in Colombia, Mexico, and LA. Before Lux was born, I took on the role of a 24/7 life coach to catch Johny up on my level of understanding energy. I also caught up on the amount of healing I had already done. He created a world where everyone catered to him. To gain praise and feed off of it, he surrounded himself with less conscious versions of himself. The man turned life into a vile video game and used and abused anyone who crossed his sneaky spider web, using blame, pity, and a childlike mentality. Due to his very sensitive self and vivid imagination, he would create a world in his mind that he would actually see playing out in what he thought was physical form. Those with a higher level of consciousness would understand that it is simply a daydream composed of thoughts and ideas without any tangible water, feelings, substance, or source. It's not real, because what's not made from real ideas is not genuine energy, so it's fake like a mirage. Some people give so much weight and value to these false mirages that they start feeling real. It's when we give it weight, our energy, that we let the false feeling overtake the genuine feeling.

We have entire realities, societal structures and institutions created off fake energy. For example, hospitals, churches, and the government are just a few of the major players. We can construct fake relationships, homes, and businesses with this fake energy. This has been done. As long as they are given weight, worth, and value, their presence will endure. As such, it can be very dangerous and tricky to eliminate fear and false beliefs from our minds. Therefore, we must use a strong sense of discernment when reinitiating our own sensitivities and connections to our own cells. The entire society must be reset in order to remove all brainwashing and false applications from the brain. The ability to see things from a different perspective will be achieved by shifting our perspective. There are quite literally physical glitches that can be observed. For the purpose of bringing this whole process full circle, Johny literally lived in a daydream. Without drugs or alcohol, he was able to disconnect from reality and lose himself in a state of daydreaming. In this state, he felt as though he was experiencing life, but in reality, nothing had changed. In many ways, this was very similar to the behaviour of my eldest brother Tyler around the same time that Johny entered our lives. What the f do you say... My brother and my husband are related in the soul family. I will explain everything in the appropriate time frame, so please bear with me. 

continued

In Spoonful of Stacey Tags self awareness part xvii
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