Spoonful Of Stacey - Self Worth ( Part III )
Similar to his previous demeaning style of saying, "I love your body, but I hate your brain.". Hypnosis has allowed me to explore these memories. It has helped me re-collect a lot of information from my cellular memory, and I HIGHLY suggest you give your cells the same relief. The symptoms present indicated a severe disconnection from the cellular memory of my emotional body that had been traumatized through all the actions against me. During traumatizing events, the mental body will numb, suppress, and shut down so as not to feel. If you lie to someone and deny them all the air ( ideas ), thoughts ( fire ), water ( feelings ) and earth ( actions ) present, you are stealing their power. Similar to entering a relationship under false pretenses. A story may be left out, shifted, bent, exaggerated, or deleted to control an audience. You manipulate and abuse someone's ideas and feelings so that things turn out the way you want them to.
It is due to attachments and a self-serving mentality that has led to such behaviour. It's a problem since manipulation has been morphed into the idea that it's easier than allowing and allowing someone to be vulnerable. Managing yourself, being emotionally intelligent, and showing trust are requirements for that. It's all about protection of the unhealed ego and shadow side, easy living, quick fixes, little effort, and instant gratification. In society, everyone tries to keep their comfort zones for this is society's idea of LOVE, those who do not make me feel how I should feel, let alone how I NEED to feel in order to change, evolve, and become a better human being. The ruthless part of this is that EVERYONE present at that point knew that Mike and I had been together for almost a year and lived together for a month. The majority of those now living in Calgary had the opportunity to meet Mike a few weeks prior as the girls had just celebrated one of their birthdays. When he met them, it was evident he was not interested in being at the wedding approaching; with his temper and their small-town arrogance, it was possible to envision a fight breaking out.
At this point, I must emphasize that the immense crushing of the spirit came from the clearly evident resonance between myself and all of these individuals, as we plod through this novel. I loved parts of them and wished they would embrace the versions they showed me for a moment but quickly covered when it came to other people's eyes. It is only with love that I share my experiences and the many layers and memories tied to these relationships that have shaped my personality and purpose.