The Complexities of Family Dynamics: Understanding Narcissistic Traits in Our Core
Family dynaMIX – what's in the mixture? How does it affect ourcellves? These mixtures can be complex and are highly influenced by various factors: who did what, and where did they choose to live? What cycles and seasons are here for the family to work through? And does anyone even care? What's going on beyond the image? Recognizing these factors and their impact on our lives is crucial for healing and growth.
Signs of Narcissistic Traits in Family Members Mothers
Emotional unavailability, criticism, manipulation, self-centeredness, and codependent or entangled relationships
The more emotion you show, the less you receive back
Guilt-tripping or making you feel responsible for their emotions
Constantly seeking validation and attention
Dismissing or minimizing your feelings and experiences
You become the parent-child
Burnt-out from keeping up with the rat-race, shut down from withholding an image, and resentful from giving self to everyone else
Fathers
Authoritarianism, emotional distance, grandiosity, lack of empathy, and blame-shifting
They do the avoi-dance and blame game all day
Making unrealistic expectations and criticizing when not met
Using anger or aggression to control and intimidate
Dismissing or belittling your accomplishments
You become the emotION they shut down
Act as though they’re doing so much, while they’re doing the bare minimum
Empty promises and shortcomings that you get scapegoated for
Siblings
Competition, manipulation, self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and emotional reactivity
Copycat syndrome, gaslighting
Altering another's narrative to better suit their image
Constantly comparing themselves to you or others
Sabotaging or undermining your goals and achievements
Guardians
Control, manipulation, or emotional unavailability
Making decisions without considering your feelings or needs
Using emotional blackmail or threats to get what they want
Dismissing your boundaries or ignoring your needs
Aunts and Uncles
Favoritism, criticism, or emotional distance
Making comparisons between you and other family members
Offering unsolicited advice or criticism
Dismissing your feelings or experiences
Cousins
Influenced by the narcissistic dynamics within their own family or exhibit similar traits
Mirroring the behavior of other family members
Competing with you for attention or validation
Dismissing or minimizing your feelings and experiences
Grandparents
Passing down narcissistic traits that affect family dynamics from the root of their existence
Carrying narcissistic cultural beliefs and small, limited thinking from generational trauma and influence within the cellular memory
Expecting respect and obedience without reciprocating empathy or understanding
Using guilt or manipulation to control family members
Dismissing or minimizing the experiences of others
Some common patterns to look out for include:
Emotional manipulation
Lack of empathy
Grandiosity
Self-centeredness
Blame-shifting
Gaslighting
Emotional reactivity
Control and dominance
Keep in mind that everyone can exhibit these traits at times. We’re all healing from a narcissistic world-view.
Common Signs Across Family Members
- Gaslighting: Manipulating perception of reality.
- Emotional abuse: Using anger, criticism, or put-downs.
- Lack of accountability: Refusing to apologize or take responsibility.
- Projection: Attributing own flaws or behaviors to others.
- Invalidation: Dismissing or minimizing feelings and experiences.
The Impact on Our Lives
Growing up with narcissistic family members can lead to:
- Low self-esteem: Constant criticism and belittling can erode self-confidence.
- Anxiety and stress: Living with narcissistic family members can create tension and anxiety.
- Difficulty setting boundaries: Narcissistic family members may disregard boundaries, making it challenging to establish healthy limits.
- People-pleasing: The need to please others can become ingrained, leading to burnout and resentment.
How it Feels Being Around a Narcissistic Family Member
Being around a narcissistic family member can feel suffocating and draining. It's as though you have to put on the persona of who they're okay with you being – anything else will cause a stink or ripple in their facade. This can be met with:
Rude, underhanded comments
Attempts to put you in your place
Anything to get you to fall back in line with the narcissistic family's image
The pressure to conform can be overwhelming, leaving you feeling like you're walking on eggshells. There's often no real want or need for intergenerational wealth, health, or healing to evolve the lineage and work collectively with the world. Instead, the focus is on maintaining the family image and status quo. Some common feelings people experience when dealing with narcissistic family members include:
Anxiety - bodies rejection to the imbalance
Depression - showing the denser unhealthy vibrations being carried
Low self-esteem - doubting your own experiences
Confusion - conned out of your truth and fused to the family
Frustration - rusty crusty stale energy blocking up the flow of your rate
Emotional exhaustion - running on fumes, not root to ground or stabilize
It's essential to recognize these patterns and prioritize your own emotional well-being.
The Energetic Connection
We're connected to our family members through energetic cords, tied and tethered to them whether we like it or not, know them or not, whether they're living or not. These cords WILL* influence our willpower, emotional well-being, and relationships. They will strongly affect the flow, the current, the weather, and the journey our ship gets to endure, as it sets sails through life’s experiences. Learn your course of actIONS.
The Core Connection
Our core, or solar plexus, is connected to our family core values, morals, traditions, and beliefs. These core values and beliefs can shape our relationships and influence our spiritual state, mental health, emotional well-being, and physicality. The entanglement and codependency that can develop from these connections can be like a bowl of pasta - complex, knotted, and difficult to untangle.
Healing the Past
To break free from the cycle of unhealthy relationships and create a more fulfilling life for our future generations, it's essential to heal the past and release the energetic cords that bind us to unhealthy patterns and relationships. This can involve:
- Seeking support: Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies.
- Setting boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries can help protect emotional well-being.
- Practicing self-care: Engaging in activities that promote self-love and self-care can help counteract the negative effects of narcissistic family members.
- Energetic healing: Techniques like cord cutting, meditation, and energy work can help release the energetic cords and promote emotional healing.
Protecting Your Peace: If something was said or done that's left you feeling unsettled, know that this is your system letting you know there's a cord causing energetic drain. It requires awareness and healing to restore your peace and balance. This awareness can help you:
Recognize the impact of others' words and actions on your energy
Identify areas where you may be holding onto unresolved emotions or experiences
Take the cognitive talk therapy steps to release and heal from these experiences
Protect your energy by protecting your space. Don’t give access to your information, time, or energy.
By acknowledging and addressing these energetic drains, you can work towards maintaining a sense of peace and balance in your life.
By understanding the complexities of family dynamics and narcissistic traits, and by addressing the energetic connections and core values that shape our relationships, we can take steps towards healing from the compound trauma and start creating healthier, more fulfilling relationSHIPS ( that will flow and sail with you, not AGAINst you, *keyword again, repetition of the same cycles, traits, and values ).
To the cycle breaker and cycle starter you are not alone,
S