Sometimes the old patterns creep there way back into your day to day, shifting moods, routines. I think of it as my dark thoughts schooling me. Showing me what egoic reactions, tendencies still are bringing an opportunity for me to learn from and respond differently too. I strongly wish when I'm feeling low, off my routine, lack luster, sleepy, that I wasn't. And I can still get caught in wishing it be different, controlling, efforting trying to force myself out of what's present. Learning to witness and observe the reactions until I break through that layer and can shift into the next brings a lot of clarity and peace to what I can not control. During these waves my old personality traits come bubbling to the surface, judging myself, inability to chill, quiet the mind. Once the storm is over and I settle into its after bliss I usually have a good laugh at myself. An awareness of, "Okay, Stacey you went there again, alright that happened." I allow myself to ebb and flow wherever I feel the need to go. When I become accepting and conscious of my choices I take things less personally. I take responsibility for where I'm at because I know my thoughts and emotions I have are a myriad of tiny seeds planting roots into my reality. As I take a birds eye view, I am able to experience the constant ever shifting, migrating energies and sensations triggered by all of life's lessons and blessings. I am not afraid of the next wave, or big splash. I am the wave. Namastacey (~*~)
