"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
C.S. Lewis
Life once awakened is a whole other ball game. Many people attach to the singular point of awakening, that amazing "AHH, this makes so much sense, where has this been my whole life!" moment. However, while that is a crucial piece of the awakening process, so is the shift from head up our asses to every moment awareness. The awakening welcomes in a time of transition that is unsettled, unstable, and unique. It is a time of embracing and uncovering amazing parts of you and then trying to crawl right back up your ass. It is a time of expansion and contraction as you grow and then shrink back to the core issues that are still unresolved and suppressed within your system.
For most of our lives, a lot of us try to put on a good face. We hide our true feelings and emotions or lie to ourselves creating illusions out of our actual experiences. We end up unconsciously using drugs and alcohol and even sports as ways to let out built up frustrations and emotions. This is a short term fix. Not to say don't drink, don't do drugs, don't participate in intense sports. If the pleasure of whatever you are doing far weighs out the pain, in my opinion go for it! An awareness will help when realizing if you are using partying as a way to fill a void. I did, I drank and did drugs to fit in, to cope with the underlying pain I wasn't even aware was stored within me. I participated in high intensity sports/workouts such as competitive gymnastics and power yoga not realizing I had an excessive amount of yang energy adding to imbalances within my whole system. I was stuck in the flight or fight. The go go go!
When spiritual awakening hits and even as you move along in your path, emotions come up. It's often very involuntary. They simply arise, and you suddenly find yourself face-to-face with a lot of anger, sadness, or fear. The old inclination to repress, avoid, or do something else to remove the feeling may kick in. Run to our old comforts and unhealthier ways of responding to stress, but this is precisely the moment when we need to allow and accept. This is precisely the moment when things are going to get a little MESSY :)
We're not escaping the shit storm of life when we're following the path of transcendence; we're going in head first. It ain't all rainbows, butterflies, peace and love. I grabbed my mala bead, yoga mat, read up on chakras and hey now I'm zen. This was never and will never be my reality because life is messy and we've got a mess inside, things get messy around us. We cry. We scream. We get scared. As we work on clearing disharmonious emotions on the spiritual path being aware of the process will shed a little light. First the emotions rise to your consciousness, second you experience the emotion, then finally you release the emotion. It can seem as though you have taken a step back or are experiencing resistance. Remember if it was painful going in, it will be painful coming out! How you choose to perceive the process is entirely up to you. I try my best to look at it as happy healing even when I am intensely challenged because the result is more space for new opportunities and experiences.
Most of all, remember that you will be okay. It's an imperfect, human path too. So, you'll have good days and bad, but underlying everything will be a much more alive and profound sense of love, clarity, and peace. This is actually a beautiful process (don't roll your eyes at me haha) it is going to allow you to follow the path most true to your soul. How can that not be b e a u t i f u l. You give yourself permission to be the realest version of yourself.
Light & Love,
Namastacey xo