Spoonful Of Self-Worth Part XVIII
**sensitive material
The extent to which Mike was dealing with his own problems, however, was not apparent to me. In the past, he had been addicted to drugs and dealt with heavy family issues that had not been resolved as a result of his rebellious and destructive past. He always insisted he was clean. We spent almost all of our time together when we weren't working, and I lived at his place most of the time until we moved into mine. We would end things when I heard about things or found texts from girls at the beginning of our relationship. On his end, it was always a tantrum, and he trashed my belongings and acted as if I had done something wrong. Despite my best efforts to stay away, he kept luring me back. Ours was a relationship full of ups and downs. Truth be told, I was a little obsessed. I was unaware at the time our love at first sight meeting was more of a who can get with the new server set up by one of the chefs at the restaurant I was working at. Mikey was the chef's best friend and was asked to assist with the creation of the birthday girl's meal I attended. After a previous 4 years on and off, shitshow of a relationship, this would be my first experience going out after 9 months of solid repair.
As if by divine intervention, I had to take this test, and I failed miserably. I was immediately transported back into the past with my father, brothers, and former lovers. Our connection had something special and different about it; we made each other laugh and followed each other around like puppies. We also decided to delay sex for several months. It was Mike's own underlying intentions that brought about this, however, my main goal was to get to know this individual before experiencing this type of connection. On the day before the surprise party, I picked up Mike from work unaware that the new location he was working at had brought in old colleagues who began to dangle carrots under his nose. Additionally, we had a group of older friends with whom we became quite close who were given far too much trust and weighed heavily on our relationship due to their own insecurities. There was one specific older woman who had a great deal of control over both me and our union, as well as years later, in my business. She had her own masked intentions with Mike and over her friends.
Mike and I went to a common hang out where his roommate and some of our friends worked during our first date. The plan was to celebrate his birthday with just him, get an early night, and then head home to prepare for the party the following night. Immediately, his temper flared up and I could feel the drama mama coming out after dealing with his highs and lows for almost a year. In spite of the fact that he was completely moved out, he told me he needed to go to his apartment. Then again, without putting two and two together... obviously, he wanted to go do drugs. My first response was "do what you will, Mike. I'm not having a fight with you; it's your party tomorrow". While trying to leave and walk 8 blocks home, he ran after me out of the back of the restaurant and began throwing me around, dragging me, even as I begged him to let go. When I realized he wasn't in there, I started screaming for help. As we approached the back alley of our apartment, I realized I would have to try to escape. As I swung my arm, I caught him in the face. In response, I was punched square in the face, snapping my neck back and causing severe whiplash.
As my head came forward, he proceeded to bite my chin and claim I struck him first. When my survival instincts kicked in, I ran to the apartment side door I had access to with my FOB on my keys. Once I was inside, I slammed the doors behind me as I ran up the apartment. When I entered the apartment, he was already climbing the balconies on the lower levels to reach ours. I ran and locked the screen door immediately. An incoming siren caused him to stop as he attempted to break the screen doors. Initially, he began climbing down the balconies in an attempt to escape, whereupon I opened the balcony, grabbed a flower planter, and struck him on the side of the head, feeling justified. I ran back inside and secured the door. I was sitting on my couch, shocked, bruised, bitten, and bleeding when the police started knocking on my door.
continued