Spoonful of Stacey : Self Worth Part I
Our cycles and seasons help to surface old stagnant emotions ( water ) & ideas ( air ) that affect our minds ( fire ) & bodies ( earth ).
Some have skewed the truth ( ideas ) in order to discredit my nature. There have been a lot of ridiculous claims for years. Having dealt with the damned if I did, damned if I didn't reality, I very much understand it. That's why I made it into a game. Now let's see what new gossip and lies they will attempt to spread next. When I first moved back to Estevan after the physical assault in Calgary in 2013, I tried to integrate into old relationships, but so much of me had changed since choosing to expand + evolve past that of the limited high school and small-town that corrupted + crushed my spirit. It was clear to me right away that this was no longer aligned with my personal values. The superficial party-crazed life of Peter Pan was over for me, and I didn't want to drink just to fit in. There was sooooo much deeper, mystery, passion, and purpose I longed for. My ex-boyfriends treated me badly because I wanted to grow up together, while they wanted the immature easy to please party girl I never connected with. Her purpose was to conceal insecurities and fears.
While going through these changes and shifting I lost many 'friends'. People could not understand why I was making healthier choices to grow + glow up cellularly in a different way than what society deemed successful, as that was never right (brained). Prior to returning home for the wedding, rumours spread that I was dating Erica and Mike, and I let them fly. Having control over my raw emotions, the ugly truth, empowered these assholes. There has always been a desire to make me out to be something utterly alien to who I am, what I would or wouldn't do, and how I feel and act.
CONTINUED PART II