Spa morning post 10 year high school reunion and one of my soul sista's wedding socials. This girl needs some tender, love, and care. It was such a blast catching up with everyone but it can also be a little awkward seeing people you haven't for years, remembering everyone's name..etcccc a lot of emotion can get stirred up as we reminisce or worry what each other are thinking. Fully aware everyone's probably feeling a little jittery or wondering what to expect. For me I know a lot of people don't fully understand what I do or misunderstand me and that's okay. I giggled with a girlfriend prior playing out the, "hey what have you been up to" question but I let go of any expectations and set the intention to just be the me I've grown to love. As I arrived at the social the room was filled with music, people visiting and drinking, I could feel myself start to turtle up and the anxieties creep in. Plain and simple it's just a lot of heavy energy, not good or bad just dense. It's a lot to experience and until you haven't experienced something of such intensity it would be hard to comprehend and have compassion for. Universe always waiting to show it's magic, divinely guided a person who I have shared a warm connection always but were never super close with to sit beside me.

We got to catching up and chatting which can be hard for me as small chat and I don't mix. I get deep, I talk about life, the real shit, don't give me your surface how's the weather, "I'm fine" chit-chat this I kid you not is so painfully uncomfortable for me. Let’s clear one thing up I do not hate small talk because I hate people. I hate small talk because I hate the barrier it creates between people.” Unfortunately, our culture has deemed small talk a social necessity. Wikepedia even went so far as to describe it as a “social lubricant”, which makes it sound a whole lot more fun than it actually is. Small talk is meant to be light and fun. It flees from depth and meaning. Personal questions are considered inappropriate. Likewise, any emotion besides happy or neutral is discouraged. Consequently, authenticity dies on the vine. The truth is that small talk allows two people to have an entire conversation without really getting to know each other. Instead of being light and fun, the conversation is flat and boring. It is like a game of chess where both players always know each other’s next move. It is a predictable exchange with predictable results. Hence I hate small chat. :)

She shared a little bit about her journey and opening her mind to letting go of the conditioning's of where we grew up and my heart smiled. She was speaking my language. I explained briefly how I was feeling uncomfortable from all the "energy" in the room hoping she would kinda get what I meant or not look at me funny haha and she replied with, "Girl stop your shyness, and flaunt your flyness" right there and then I remembered who I was, grounded myself and thanked her for the much needed reminder. If you are reading this you know who you are and thank you angel!

As a highly-sensitive empath awakening to my gifts and aware of the self-care my crystalline system needs. I now understand the physical, emotional, and psychological sensations my body experiences when exposed to such an array of energies. If I am already feeling anxious that can be multiplied if others are as well. I can strongly pick up emotions and thoughts regardless of the distance between us, if I'm not mindful and aware they can take over me. I'm left mood shifted, in others physical pain, and taken by that energy. I am getting better day by day at protecting myself and taking the proper time to ground, shield and clear. To learn this has been happening to me my whole life, that it's who I am, and learning how to care for and understand it has changed everything for me in the most amazing way. It saved my life.

As an empath, light-worker, medium my body is like a channel connecting to the healing energy(life force, prana, chi, ki), to guides/Angels/spirits, other living organisms, humans and act as the conduit to transmute, absorb, emit and clear energy (vibrations), decades of pain, toxins whether it be physical, emotional, and/or psychological. So to say taking care of my vessel is vital is an understatement. As I awaken and uncover my gifts and well of knowledge from all lives I adapt my routine accordingly as self-care I know now is not a want it's a need. I'm past the point of thinking, "it's a blessing and a curse" for all I feel is blessed to finally make sense of my whole life, my illnesses, understand my nature, and live out my designed destiny doing my part to better myself and the world.

That said, it hasn't been a path of rainbows and butterflies. It's been fucking hard, brought many lessons and blessings into my life, not all the most gentle but it couldn't be any other way. Everything truly does happen in a divine order and I got to experience that within a few of the relationships that were rekindled from yesterday's events.

So today I take the extra time to clear my sensitive, special, temperamental little vessel that I wouldn't trade with anyone and feel completely grateful for all my many blessings.

Namastacey (~*~)