Lately I've been feeling attacked and to put it simply my hearts been hurting. As it continues to be brought into my awareness the cruel judgements casted my way. Firstly, that the result of someone's personal choices on their own individual life path were influenced, brainwashed, warped by me. Secondly, that other healers, spiritual teachers are creating false stories about my character. Does this not go against everything we believe and teach to our own clientele? I'm not in a pissing contest for whose the most powerful, or who is the greatest healer, or wanting personal gain. I do what I do because I was dying and had to learn what the fuck was going on and find the root of my illnesses. That is what lead me to finding my truth, creating my business, and living my soul's purpose.

Through written word I've been divinely guided to share my experiences in hopes to inspire others. I at first ignoring the urge of my soul to speak out and stand up for myself on this topic, a reaction from my egoic mind and old insecurities. I was picked on, teased, talked shit about for most of my life and never defended myself and after years of self discovery and healing will no longer stand for it. If you've read any of my previous blogs or experienced a session I make it clear I will not advise you to make the choices I think are best. Intuitively I may pick this information up from your higher self, soul, heart and share with you options of where life may lead by first asking, "Would you like my advice, or what is coming up, what I am being shown". As we humans come with FREE WILL and any option one chooses to take will conjure a different path and result. I don't believe in right or wrong, successes or failures. There are merely choices and whichever path one chooses will provide us an experience in which one can learn and grow from.

My goal as a mentor, healer, human being is to simple hold space for my clientele, soul family/friends to transition through their lives and what challenge, struggle, lesson, level they are going through in a way that best serves them and where they are at on their journey around the sun. Offering them a shoulder to cry on, a healing hand to hold, a bedroom to stay in, an ear to vent to, a heart to embrace them, or a bright light to receive from. I teach one how to connect with their higher intelligence, how to understand the secret language of their body, and offer a shifted perception on how to view these struggles, challenges, and lessons. I preach how we as individual human beings are our own smartest doctor, teacher, philosopher, healer, counsellor and on repeat state how I do not know what's best for anyone, they already have the answers. I and what I do and will continue too is give my friends, family, and clientele who are ready to discover self the tools of how to turn inward, to gain this divine information, to develop their intuition, to tune into illnesses, aches, pains receiving the answer to the root of their existence and begin living consciously, mindful, aware, accepting and compassionate just as I have done to reverse my failing health and learn who I truly am.

As all I've strived to do and am so passionate about contributing my part in influencing a world that no longer knows separation from
one another, that no longer casts ignorant judgments at one another, for individuals to follow and lead with their heart's calling and this will only happen when one first learns how to live consciously and love themselves. Suggesting that any of my clientele, friends, family learn how to think freely and for themselves and can create the life they have always dreamt of. Without the worry, fear, expectation, or assumption of disappointing and receiving judgement from others. Doesn't that sound warm, gentle, and accepting. Why are we so conditioned to spread gossip, bullshit, hate, and cast our own personal fears, expectations, and assumptions on one another? This saddens me to my very core. Don't any of you watch Ellen Degeneres, "Be kind to one another" she preaches as she closes off her talk show. Listen to Ellen she's figured it out! Lol Yes, I will use humor as I know not to take any of this personal, for my soul/heart is aware it has nothing to do with me, yes it stings for a while as I allow myself to feel the triggered emotions from past situations similar to this experience. But quite frankly this is all your own fears, worries, aka darkness and a beautiful lesson for me to stand my ground, remember who I am, release the suppressed initial emotions being triggered and to practice forgiveness for those who have harmed me through thought, word, or deed intentionally or non-intentionally.

Here is some what you may deem as crazy out of this world, nutjob shit and trust me a few years ago I would have felt the same when I lived unconscious, unaware and blinded by my social conditioning. My grandma who is now past came through a dear friend of mine, she is a medium and living portal which means souls/spirits/the other side can speak through her. As I was expressing my feelings to my partner while pillow talking before bedtime last night at how receiving such judgment and accusations from a community I was born and raised in, a community I am so passionate about helping and healing was treating me in such a way I received a text stating my Grandma wanted to talk to me. Here are some words from the other side. And note my Grandma was a very strict religious women, Roman Catholic to be exact.

"Remember back when they said things too, always saying stupid shit to you. You didn't know then that it didn't matter but it's no different now then it was then. People will say things because it's easier to blame than to face the truth and to victimize a human to be the face of what they are scared to say is true. Stand up my girl and don't let anyone give you shit. Your on this journey and even I doubted your gifts... I saw some tears and those are not needed, so let them flow and GO! I am always here.. And I just wanted you to know, that what your feeling is okay but for god sakes let it go". -Grams

I felt a flood of tears creep into my ducts as I repeatedly read the message connecting to my loved one and a complete validation in all I knew to be true. I felt supported as my partner snuggled closer and reminded me of the admiration he had for how strong I've had to be through my challenges, this in comparison the tiniest hiccup to what I've endured in order to become the activist, light, healer, humanitarian I chose to be longggg before coming to this planet.
So like I've done and will continue to share this is my story, my experience, my truth and I hope it reaches you all well. And thank you for to my support system and fellow healers for being the love and spreading it. "Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." -Henry James

The teacher and light in me, honor and acknowledge the teacher and light in each and everyone of you,

Namastacey (~*~)

Practicing yoga for me reflects the status of my present relationship with self. During cosmic shifts and weaving through my own cycles, the upbringing of suppressed, stale frequencies can feel as though I'm in a rainstorm with no umbrella or rubber boots for protection against the heavy downpours and gusting winds. Swirling and spiraling through layers, surfacing the rawness of previous hidden unwanted emotions, dense stories and definitions that are limiting my growth and preventing me from ascending to my next level in this Earth game. At times I'll resort to my comforts as a way to cope; eating a lot of food(sweets, salties, yum yums), smoking some herb, and escaping into a binge of meaningless television. I refer to this as responding to life's challenges from our egoic side, comfort zones, and lower vibrations.

Confession, I put my asana practice on the back burner, along with prioritizing self care and resorted back to my old patterns and responses during this cosmic shift crazily compelling us all. Some, the sensy pots are consciously aware of this energetic awakening and opportunity, others are feeling it but not sure what the fuck is going on. Similar to when I was unaware of how my hyper sensitive vessel absorbed energies. I used food, drugs, alcohol, relationships, tv as an unconscious way of lowering my crazy high vibration so I couldn't FEEL as much. I wasn't mindful that this was what I was doing but now understanding energy and how it works in and around our ecosystems, this is exactly what I was attempting to do. Block everyone, everything out. It can be overwhelming being a sponge 24/7 absorbing thoughts, feelings, pains of others, especially when energies are amped up and it's time for me to shift to an even higher sensitivity. Now being aware and awakened to my empathic, sensy self that doesn't automatically make it easier. It takes willpower for one to not to resort back to his or her old patterns, but also a great deal of compassion for self when we visit the old patterns of how we've responded to challenges and shifts in our reality. My practice shows me exactly how my body is feeling, she talks to me through tightness, tension, loss of range of motion, and rigidness. Projecting a map of where lower vibes have been shoved, suppressed, and hidden. Usually in my hips, as this location stores vibrations from our relationship with self, others and our ability to go with the flow, to create and harmonize. As well as in my shoulder girdle, lacking connection to source, not speaking/living in my truth, and giving my power away by responding to life in a way that's less beneficially for my three part being; mind, body and soul. With this practice being a projection of ones relationship with self and me wanting to hide, turtle away, escape from all the going throughs you might understand why I put asana to the side. Escaping from the truth, my truth. I could hear and feel my heart & soul's urgent call...practice yoga, get outside, drink more water, clear, release, be grateful, but at times my humanness and all around stubbornness will be driving this vessel instead of the divine intelligence the soul, intuition, and heart provide. With everyone collectively going through their shit this girl feeeeels it, my own muck amplified and lower vibrations of others, it can be intense!

I've flowed through this cycle with awareness for a few years now watching myself weave in and out. In the past during the lower waves I would cast harsh judgments, guilt, shame for ignoring my higher self. But through the experiences and years I've learned how counterproductive this can be and attracts more of that vibration into my space. To just allow and accept what's present is needed. I look at it as opportunity to visit my darkness, to dance with it, sleep with it, smoke with it, and when I've gained all the information I need, remember why I don't visit those comforts and feel ready to wake back up again, I do.

It need not be big or dramatic, I don't throw myself an enlightenment party, in all honesty I just laugh at myself and my silly ways. One must embrace their darkness in order to see their own light. This game of life is one hell of an adventure and it can be fucking hard at times. By gaining compassion and acceptance over self it will organically begin to spill over into your relationships with others. Overtime if we all practiced such unconditional love and acceptance, imagine how much more harmony their would be amongst one another.

This morning I'm filled with gratitude for this amazing medicine and art that is yoga. After a magical week celebrating my last 27 years surfing around the sun, a yummy weekend reconnecting with self at Prairie Love Yoga Festival, and a balancing out of energies, I feel shifted into a content state of consciousness. I am thankful for our on and off again relationship, yoga. You always take me back with open arms and hold space for me to flow through my current challenges and show me exactly what's present in my reality.

May all beings everywhere be happy and free,

Namastacey (~*~)