Spoonful Of Self-Awareness Part V

Spoonful Of Self-Awareness Part V

In our relationships, as well as in our already-growing + flowing business ventures, we began to see and experience such blocks. Johny's mental health deteriorated as he begged his mother for the truth about his story, his father, and the upbringing in which his mother completely messed up his mind. Her attempts to keep her version of events, the bubble around his brain, were frightening. Several attempts were made to tell Johny that, while he was healing, he was being selfish by not investing his time in her. He had just begun a relationship and was in the process of moving across the country in the midst of this he was supposed to be an important part of her life as boyfriend, son, and husband. I softly inquired about their dynamic as it appeared to be off.

Johnny would go to any length to protect her. Upon seeing our connection, her heavy investment in what his life was going to be for her became threatened. The move to Estevan from the United States was intended to keep close tabs on him. As we discovered, she made it clear she wanted Johny back in the United States with her, regardless of whether we had children. Her soulmate was Johny, and she wanted him back there with her. She had a very distorted view of her life and attacked when questioned. Even Johnny began to find out what was going on. Through subconscious and trauma work, he unravelled his upbringing through human behaviour and psychology. He went to great lengths for his mother. I opened my home, my business, and my family to her, I offered her multiple opportunities to be part of the business along with months and years of individualized healing sessions, yoga classes, and more to assist her from the heart, as she was my mother in law, my children's grandmother, and in the larger picture, part of my family.

While knowing of the trauma she was running from, I continued to forgive her and remained compassionately open to her with every attempt she made to undermine our relationship and my character. At the beginning, we were not able to fully grasp what she meant when things began to smell fishy to the extent that she was convinced Johny was her soul-mate. In response to the information I received on her prior to her moving to Canada, my blood ran cold and I was immediately filled with fear as I tried to figure out how to tell Johny or what I should do with the information I was receiving. As I reached this point in my intuitive connection, I understood that I should never doubt my feelings, because there is always a reason something arises. In order to access the messages within these elements, the air, ideas/beliefs, and water/feelings, we need to access the right side of the brain. We will be made aware of the factors when we choose aka are willing to ask and listen. We were shocked at how far she went. The first thing she did was discredit the way I conducted my business following our meeting. Johnny and I were long-distance dating for eight months, during which she constantly posted comments on everything I wrote, hosted, and displayed on my social media accounts. First, I thought it was complimentary, oh she is interested in her son's girlfriend.

In fact, she began to gather information about me in order to manipulate me, keep us apart, and cause Johny to cheat, lie, scapegoat, and use and abuse anyone to achieve what he would want or need, in the manner she functions. After spending a week kissing my ass and discussing healing, energy, and spirituality with Johny, she advised him not to enter into a relationship with me after the first week of our relationship in which it was quite apparent we had fallen in love. It was apparent that the way he looked at me and acted toward me was reminiscent of his first love. It ended in a similar manner to my own, leaving him feeling rejected and resentful toward women. He was only interested in one other girl prior to me, however, he failed to make the correct decision and chose the easier path. I believe that relationship would have assisted him in emotionally preparing for ours, as my previous relationships did for me. However, since his first heartbreak, he has always preferred the easy girl and the easier path, one that fed his ego, never challenged him and continued his drive towards a life of "professional skateboarding" among celebrities. Following in his mother's footsteps, she jumped from host to host, creating herself to be the victim of every situation that resulted from her poor decisions.

Over the course of his 20's Johnny began to resemble his mother more and more, and the two of them made a pact, us against the world. In other words, us against anything real or substantive. Use it, abuse it, and move on that was the trajectory of their relationship and their lives patterns. Johny had recently experienced a breakup that was being dragged out as usual. Maintain her in his back pocket, as men do until they find their next host. Unfortunately, I was that host. As I was travelling back and forth between Nicaragua and being royally fucked over by a close friend, he stated to the universe he wished to know the truth. As I sank to a low point, he attempted to rise, and the journey of balance began. The behaviour of Andrea, in the beginning, began to expose the false facade persona she was portraying to Johny. According to him, she had a completely different personality for him, which was used to keep him focused on this image. During her move to Estevan, she had Johny and me over for supper in the house I found for her in Estevan. Honestly, it was my home/business that she was offered as I moved into a larger space for teaching yoga group classes and hosting retreats.

She began to belittle me and told me that I did not know what I was doing in business and that I wasn't doing it properly. During our conversation, I began discussing how I approach my business from a perspective that is unlike any other I have experienced, as this is what I was guided to do and had already done without incident for two years. Each step I took was based on the information I received moment to moment, heavily questioned by myself, while staying connected to my senses and higher mind. As well as having all of my managerial and administrative training, prior to starting my business, I knew what the fuck I was doing down to balancing my own ledgers, I love it! The situation grew increasingly uncomfortable, and she began to act as if I did not understand what she was saying and that I was misinterpreting her words. This would have been Johny's first real "wtf," as he watched her go from praising me and what I had done for 8 months to making me cry in front of the table. In the beginning, I was astonished as to why this was happening, she acted in such a different manner toward me while Johny and I had dated long distance for 8 months prior to moving in together.

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Spoonful of Self-Awareness Part IV

Spoonful of Self-Awareness Part IV

Nothing felt real*** keyword lasting, no sense of significance. As OG consciousness amplified its air/idea with a thought/fire and desire/water, magnetic and electric energies began to converge or, bluntly speaking, got it on. The elements grew bigger as the intention grew with fire (will) and water (want). The result was the Big Bang! During this intense process, parts of the magnetic and parts of the electric were damaged, distorted, and some were blasted far from where they originated into the void. Understanding why this happened to these pieces of the pie is the first step in understanding our own rejection, avoidance, suppression, separation, + skewing of our own elements.

In the course of time, the light and dark became increasingly aware of each other. Due to their very different aspects, confusion and fear were sparked as they were unable to comprehend each other. Feminine, electric so bright, so light, while masculine, magnetic so intense, so powerful causing hesitation. Having said that, there were undeniable forces and urges pulling these two bipolar energies together. As the electron pulls in, the matter acts in response to the ideas and thoughts of the mind, the proton is pushing out. Cause and effect, the law of attraction. The nucleus of a cell is where the spirit of the cell resides, the big O8. Think of the neutral nucleus. The spirit must be neutral in understanding and connecting to its feminine and masculine principles in order for our systems to function optimally. Electrons represent the X chromosome carrying a negative charge, while protons represent the Y chromosome carrying a positive charge. Thus the name OXYgen. Words have amazing power. We must learn how to view them as the energy behind what they are referring to in a given circumstance.

It is at this level of energetic awareness that we are able to remain in a state of neutrality, which is necessary to maintain the equilibrium of our atoms and ions. Each atom contains an equal number of protons and electrons. Due to the fact that protons and electrons have equal and opposite charges, atoms are neutral in their overall nature. However, instead of learning the other qualities and quantities, mind and matter remained in separation because the parts of the cell/atom that were damaged and dimmed during creation have not yet been reassembled and healed. Now, both halves are required to undergo their own personal journeys of learning about their elements, expanding their awareness, and becoming a whole half so that they can reconnect. We, therefore, come up with the concept of soulmates and relationships, and ultimately the adventure of finding our other half. We are on a journey of healing and connecting the four elements and their internal energies, the magnetic and electric, to oneness. The O8 represents both the feminine and the masculine elements. A force of electric and magnetic attraction exists within each element, just as there is light in dark and dark in light.

Each of the elements (fire, air, water, and earth) possesses magnetic/electric properties. These qualities of our being are exactly what we begin to falsely label, distort, and dim. We take the air out of the fire, which means we have no truth in our thinking. Water is taken from the earth, dimming the impact of our actions. This is some of the methods by which the magnetic and electric principles have been manipulated by and mutilated by one another rather than working together to share energy and balance one another. The feminine can share some of your ideas and the masculine can share some of your feelings, and together we can achieve harmony. In the event that this same understanding were to be brought to every individual, our entire societal structures would be altered. As a result, authority and control would no longer be needed, but rather management of the individual selves in connection with the collective. The only rules that matter are the laws of energy, which are the laws of matter/substance and relate to us. Almost every rule and regulation imposed by an external force is here to prevent our race and species from awakening into our own inherent power and raising the vibration of our planet and collective. The forces of nature are all that we need, and this belief - when combined with aligned action - has the power to bring anything into existence.

Due to the avoidance and arrogance that we inherited from our father, my brothers adapted his belief systems regarding women as objects, whores, and useless. In my experience, the only female my father has given importance to is his younger sister who can be an extremely manipulative, controlling individual who has invested heavily in sabotaging his own self, the family he tried to establish, his relationships, and then interfering with my relationship with my siblings and then finally my own relationship with Johny and our children. Throughout the years, she has been a dark hole in my family, envious of my mother and taking any opportunity to discredit her as a woman, mother, and wife. In choosing the fake over the real, my father has been led by his own damaged matter, disconnected from the real psyche. Through his inability to heal from his upbringing, his denial of his real family, and his ability to convince himself that his very ill actions are rational, he has allowed his own mental illness to go unhealed.