I started off the day with some administrative work; emailing, posting a blog and quickly heard, "Get outside". Granted, I have learned it is best to start the day off in a more gentle approach and my soul was calling for me to do so. I listened to the somewhat aggressive demand helping me reset my limiting patterns and conditioning's and set out for my walk down in Woodlawn park. Fully aware it had been a few days since I spent any significant time out in nature it was no surprise that is where I was guided. As I practice giving up my control, I've experienced how vital this is for my self-care to go with Nature's flow. Connecting to the elements and grounding in my physical environment; a beautiful way for stored, suppressed, stale energies to be digested, processed and released. My soul knows what's best for me, guiding me throughout my day in an organic flow, but as old habits, and limiting patterns take time to retrain at times I ignore it's sweet whisper and invoke a less gentle approach. Before my awakening I had no idea of this guidance, I was vibrating to low for my ear chakra's to tune into the frequency of the higher realms; unaware of the higher-self and disconnected from source. We all have access to this divine intelligence it requires practice and the intention of becoming ones truest self.
After 10 km of walking/jogging and playing around with yoga flows in the park by the river I made my way back to my car and headed home for yin yoga (deep, meditative, long held asanas) and a soak in the tub. It was yummy rolling around on my deck with props, pillows, tunes and the sun providing it's healing rays down upon me. Noticing the guidance of my belly to eat I finished up and made a kale, frozen banana, chia seeds, vanilla almond milk, green matcha smoothie (soooo good try it if you haven't) and prepped for my clients arriving in the afternoon for their healing sessions. I had amazing sessions with my clientele, I love guiding lost souls and being the channel for healing decades of pain from those courageous enough to begin living consciously. I am humbled and appreciative of each and every person who walks into my sacred space. Through the law of attraction you have been brought to me and I hold this at the highest regard. I lived unaware, unconscious, and lost. I've been in a state of victim-hood, envy, worry, fear, fight or flight, control, pain, confusion, wishing things to be different than what they are, and through harsher experiences learned how it just did not serve me responding to life this way and contributed to all my suffering. This is why I'm so passionate about what I do. I never want anyone to suffer as harshly as I have, as I've seen, felt, know others have and continue too.
After sessions came to a close for the day, I sat down to eat supper a fresh spinach, romaine, avocado, tomato, cucumber salad tossed with lime, tahini, garlic, and sea salt dressing ( again sooooo good, try it)and decided how I should play out my evening. As I've been working on healing the relationship with my Father and have felt guided to spend time with him, I called him to go lane swimming but had no answer. I then called "my person" (soul partner, loved one, teammate) and was forwarded to voicemail. I felt a heaviness on my heart, and quickly felt the darkness(depression, anxiety) trickle in. I have learned and developed lots of ways to clear, transmute, and release energies no longer serving and remembered to disconnect from all my clients. As an empath, light-worker, medium my body is like a channel I connect my clients to the healing energy(life force, prana, chi, ki), to guides/Angels/spirits, and act as the conduit to transmute, absorb, emit, magnify and clear decades of their pain whether it be physical, emotional, and/or psychological. So to say taking self-care is vital is an understatement. Plain and simply think of me like a crystal a highly sensitive transmitter of healing energy.
As I awaken and uncover my gifts and well of knowledge from all lives I adapt my routine accordingly. I'm past the point of speaking of my gifts in a way such as, "it's a blessing and a curse" for all I feel is blessed to live out my designed destiny doing my part living out my truth and healing Mother Earth.Just with the minor thought of someone I connect with them and vice verse if you are thinking of me you are channeling me. With these two extremely close connections, ties in many lives, and karmic trauma to work through, I did my best to clear any lower energies I may absorbed from attempting to reach them. I went through my call sheet again (list of clients, family, friends that may be feeling fearful, anxious) cutting cords(an energetic tube transporting energy to/from who it as connected to) of fear that attached to me from their session, them thinking of me, and/or our close connection) that could have been contributing to what I was sensing. This may sound harsh cutting cords but we can not sever cords of love, I just don't need your shit, that's all yourssss I got my own I am working through, trust me! Post all my clearing techniques I was still heavy, sad, feeling low.
Now the old unconscious Stacey would have tossed up some treats, lit a joint, and escaped into some awful reality tele but as I learn how to respond to stress in more healthy high vibrational ways I decided to call up my Mama( that relationship is a whole story in itself) to go for a walk in Mother Nature and allow her divine intelligence to help me heal and find the root of my pain. My plan slightly backfired as I quickly began to absorb all my mother's stored, suppressed energies and my emphatic body picked up all her pain crippling me on our walk.
Now maybe you are thinking, "If you are a light-worker why don't you heal your mom?" If you are, here is your answer. I learned the heard way how to communicate my new lifestyle and living consciously for I was ready to awaken it was my divine timing, my choice. As humans we will come to our awakening in our own time we have human rights. Of course I wanted to share my new lifestyle with my family and help them to heal but spewing my insights at them left me feeling disappointed as I did not get the welcoming acceptance and support one would hope for. I learned the best way to communicate was through example. They have witnessed the massive shift in my physical health, well-being, and lifestyle. I have experienced the healing within my family since I started this journey. When one makes the decision to start living in their truth, they have an affect on everyone around them. As one begins to heal ties between their relationships, and past karma it directly affects those involved for their highest good. Will I ever get the, "Stacey, you might have been on to something" most likely no, but I don't need it. Their noticeable growing awareness to open their minds and the mending of relationships is all the validation I need.
Moving on, we shortened the walk and began to make our way back when I heard the ringing in my ear(ear chakras downloading information) so I tuned in and felt how it had been painful for my inner child to have both important men in my life not answer my call (as small as this seems, this is how affected we truly our by emotions). My adult-self knew not to take anything personal to respond with, "Who knows what they were up too, no need for me to assume it has anything to do with me" but my inner child is still healing from years of neglect. Neglect from my loved ones but most importantly from myself. So I honored her feelings and offered her a hug for the rejection she felt. My body began to shudder and I felt the heaviness begin to subside. I was then guided to transfer my Goddess Guide, a chart of day to day self care techniques and conscious living activities, onto the white board I had purchased. I have faltered recently on keeping up with my guide lately and notice what a huge aid it is. Like I said my self-care is a need and I have learned the hard way of how important it truly is(that too is a whole other story). The white board is a, "WOAH in your face DO THIS" it allows me to see where I am giving my energy and what is being neglected. I tend to feel unfocused and scattered from all the energy I pick up daily as I learn to work with my nature the Goddess Guide helps to keep me focused and balanced.
While updating I came to realize the lack of activities that allowed me to play and nurture myself. It was very clear I needed to switch from teacher/mentor for others to nurturing my own inner child. This girl neeeeeded some fun and rest! It's not that I don't love what I do, it's the science behind balancing how much you are giving of energy (yang, solar, masculine, active, intellect, day, fight or flight) and how much you are receiving of energy (yin, lunar, feminine, nurturing, intuition night, rest and digest). Whether you are male or female there needs to be a balance of both of these energies in your system in order for the body to function at it's highest intelligence and fight/heal disease, injuries, illnesses. As females we are to honor our own inner maiden, our mother, and our matriarch daily. The maiden (inner-child) longs for pure, spontaneous, adventurous energy. The mother nurtures herself and others. The matriarch mentors and teaches. As males similarly the lad, father, patriarch. This helps to balance playfulness with work and relationships. I strive to spend time each day expressing all three characteristics, and have noticed how much more energized and balanced I feel when this is a priority. A complete validation the heaviness was as I say, "my own shit". I had spent majority of the month, week, day in the Maiden and Matriarch roles. Had I honored my inner child with some pure, spontaneous, adventurous time and balanced nurturing myself and others throughout my week I could have prevented my bodies more intense reaction(attempt at getting my attention) to the rejection it felt from the males. As this was only the a trigger that put me over the edge, and the root of what I were feeling was neglect from me.
To bring balance to my giving and receiving and to nurture my inner child and soul I spontaneously decided to switch up my morning routine the following day. I created a spa in my bathroom! Beginning the am always with a 20 minute oil pull ( swishing coconut oil in my mouth to bring up toxins built up overnight), followed by 14 scrapes of my tongue(use a spoon if you don't have the tool). Then a warm glass of lemon/lime water to wake up my digestive system and bring my pH to a more alkaline state. I whipped up a sea salt and coconut oil scrub to massage my body from head to toe clearing out toxins that have built up deep in my muscles and joints. Our heart chakra's sense is touch, so I was sure to be in a conscious state of receiving sending the vibes to every nook and cranny of my body. Once I was covered from head to toe I flowed through a few yin yoga poses sprawled out in my birthday suit on the floor feeling vulnerable and slightly uncomfortable at first. Then I heard, "You have a rejection to your feminine side and a yin deficiency, allow the vulnerability and respond to it differently, now you're aware of the emotions don't run away from it, feel exactly what you are sensing then let it go." Thank you higher-self! I sacred rolled my way into savasana(corpse pose) and covered my body with crystals as I was guided placing them on specific areas of my body. I used my breath to send extra life force (soul food) to each targeting area holding onto information that I was storing, suppressing, and/or did not know how to digest. As I made my way up I began reiki'ing the bath water creating a huge elixir adding sea salt, epsolm salt, rose petals, essential oils and crystals setting my intention of simply loving myself. As our skin is the largest organ acting like a sponge absorbing through our pores I try with all my efforts to improve the quality of my bath water. I won't drink our Estevan tap water so why would I want to soak in it. I have felt the static that comes off our water here it is not in a positive format. Finally, I crawled into my magical bowl of healing nectar where I rested until Higher-self prompted me to write this blog. I've now been marinating for 2.5 hours while writing this on my Notes App! I got out to pee twice and nearly slid off the toilet lid as I am covered in coconut oil had a good chuckle as I dried off my prune like skin from soaking for such a lengthy time. Now I am glowing, balanced, nurtured, and have my blog written for the day, another check on the Goddess Guide.
